Ivan’s Chinglish translation service

A recent exchange with one of our PRC educated fenqing commenters has inspired Ivan to begin advertising his Chinglish translation service.

For a taste of what Ivan can do for Chinglish speakers, here is Ivan’s translation of the Gettysburg Address into perfect Chinglish such as is taught and written at Tsinghua University and CASS (China Academy of Social Sciences):

Original text: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate…we can not consecrate…we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government: of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Chinglish translation: Four victory in seven year, the Jesus word steal revolution of bowel movement, many sexy not criminal, man can ask marry man.

Now man marry man in big polite war, examination on national conscious of making baby for government is long time, become friend on big dead, pray for national fun when dead.   Mechanic can be convenient.

When in big smell, we are not correct in hole.   Angry ghost correct his thought, sky take our money.    World love Twitter, easy to remember English conversation.    We prefer big project of human sacrifice in our face – love more cannibal cooking – take marijuana under law the dead cannot be pretty – the God have more sex – government control people or world die.

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One Response to Ivan’s Chinglish translation service

  1. Very funnily translation that make perfect sense of Lincoln.

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