Ivan has gone back to America

A while ago we lost touch with our American friend and co-blogger, Ivan.    And for some years we have known him to be secretive about his work.

Over the past two years or so, he told us he had moved back to America.    But now he has told us the whole truth, that for the past several years he has been working as a journalist for North Korea’s internet journal,  “Happy News For Foreigner Who Love Dear Leader”.

We take our friend Ivan at his word, at face value, when he tells us that for the past several years he has occasionally visited America for conjugal visits with his fiancee the exotic dancer Hypatia De La Pink – who, Ivan tells us, was released from prison in 2007 and is now on probation  – and we take him at his word, at face value, when he now tells us that the reason why he has finally left North Korea and his extraordinary position as a Western journalist in North Korea, striving to “reform North Korean journalism from within”, is because of his love for his fiancee, Hypatia De La Pink (exotic dancer at the Kit Kat Klub somewhere in Idaho, USA,  in booth number 10).

And Ivan assures us that he remains on good terms with his former employers, the Propaganda Department of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (aka North Korea), and Ivan remains proud that he did his bit to help North Korean journalism to become more open and more progressive.

Therefore, in closing, Ivan dedicates this song to all of his friends in North Korea’s Department of Propaganda, and he promises that he will continue to write about North Korea even after he moves back to America, in ways of which his North Korean friends will approve, because now his credibility as a journalist or PR man depends, and will always depend – in all countries – on his keeping good relations with his most recent employer of the past several years, North Korea’s Department of Propaganda:

(Disclaimer:   This is satire; Ivan is a fictional character.    But this satire is based loosely on some real-life events.)

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4 Responses to Ivan has gone back to America

  1. Ned Kelly says:


    Ivan, an American PR man who served the Propaganda Department of DPRK (North Korea) for the past several years, wants to remind all of our readers that “NORTH KOREA IS SHAKING THE WORLD!” Ivan the “Public Relations” whore (sorry, I mean “expert”) wants to tell the world that North Korea is a leader of the future of the world, and although North Korea has some problems, still, life is very pretty in North Korea, where you can meet very pretty people, exotic people, before you return home to your own Western country and leave those people to their own fates under their own despotic governments which you don’t have to live under after it becomes inconvenient for you to live there:

  2. justrecently says:

    That’s why Hermit bestowed his Seasonal Scientific Reward on the Dear Leader last year. He’s confident that there will be another scientific crop revolution this year.
    Btw, I’m sure I’ve never heard of the real-life events.

  3. Ned Kelly says:

    Ivan hasn’t told us the details of those real-life events either, because he doesn’t want to offend anyone. You know how sycophantic he is, always wanting to please, always wanting to be popular.

  4. C.A. Yeung says:

    Always wanting to be fair and balanced.

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