Happy rule for the Easter day of undead

From:    China Religion Affair Office

To:          Jesus Christ

This important rule for son of god on  Easter day of undead:

1.      Do not talk about politics.

2.     Do not mention your unmarried mother or else corrupt moral of China youth.

3.      Chinese people is not happy when talk about dead.   You can be undead but do not mention dead.

4.      Okay to talk about bad human right record of Roman Empire.

5.     Do not make miracle in public.

6.     You get China visitor visa only 30 day.    If need extra ten day before ascend to the heaven, must go to Hong Kong for new visa.

7.    Respect feeling of China people.    When multiply loaf of bread, do not say China bread smell bad.

8.    When say wine is your blood, do not use Great Wall wine or else people afraid China wine contaminated.    French wine okay to use for this.

9.   Do not forgive prostitute unless he is foreigner.

10.    You can be very happy undead in China!

This entry was posted in Ned Kelly's Pub, religious freedom. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Happy rule for the Easter day of undead

  1. MyLaowai says:

    In related news, the Ministry today confirmed that Chinese forces did indeed shoot down Santa as he passed through Chinese airspace, just after midnight last December 25th.

  2. justrecently says:

    The North Korean ruling Undead two North-Never:
    1) North Korea will never take part in six-nation-talks again.
    2) North America will never present Kim Jung-il with viagra again.

  3. Ned Kelly says:

    They shot down Santa? That means they’ve pissed off Israel. Santa is Jewish, ya know; I mean he works on Christmas.

  4. MyLaowai says:

    Just be glad the Italians didn’t nail ‘im to the sleigh.

  5. Ned Kelly says:

    The Jews are by no means inexpert in inflicting sadistic punishments for mindless reasons. “All I did was say Jehovah!”

  6. MyLaowai says:

    You’re only making it worse for yourself, NK.

  7. Ned Kelly says:

    Nah, if I really wanted to piss off Jews I’d play the Dr Demento classic, “The Ballad of Irving”. The video is stupid but the recording is original:

  8. Hek says:

    I can’t tell if your being sarcastic, serious or both.


  9. justrecently says:

    Have you stopped blogging?

  10. Ned Kelly says:

    JR, thanks for asking.

    No we’ve not stopped. Catherine and I have just been diverted to other concerns in the past few weeks. We’ll be back soon.

  11. justrecently says:

    Glad to hear that the Jacaranda tree is un-dead.

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