CHANGE!

Hillary Clinton insults China; Californian tofu-liberals agree with her

The Los Angeles Times – whom our friend Ivan expects to become a Spanish-language newspaper very soon- has said about Hillary Clinton’s recent bloody disastrous, preternaturally ignorant words to her Chinese hosts:

She went too far in saying that human rights “can’t interfere with the global economic crisis, the global climate change crisis and the security crisis.” There is real cause for concern about China’s human rights record, and who will press the Asian giant if not the United States? Unfortunately, the decision reflects political and economic realities of the moment.

Um, no it doesn’t.    Hillary Clinton’s words to China do not reflect the realities of China at all.  

White House Calling Ivan

Obama needs a visit from Ivan.

Ivan’s Inauguration Poem

Our friend Ivan has written to us:

The ridiculous “poem” recited by the semi-literate mumbling hack, Elizabeth Alexander, at Obama’s inauguration, is beneath satire!

But, Ivan admires this following poem much more!    And Ivan says this poem expresses everything that Elizabeth Alexander’s Inaugural poem intended to express about Obama, but this poem really gets to the heart of it all!

From the 1997 movie, “Beavis and Butthead Do America”:

Chimerica: 30 Years of Sino-U.S. Ties

This comes straight from the horse’s mouth, in commemoration of 30 years of Sino-U.S. diplomacy.  It is all you need to know about Chimerica:  what does it mean?  why does it work? How does it shake the world?  May I present to you this ground-breaking CNN SNN production: Chimerica …

Multicultural Christmas in Ivan’s bunker

Our friend Ivan, formerly of the China-Blogosphere, has moved back to America.   Here’s an email he sent us for Christmas Eve:

Dear Ned and Catherine,

Christmas greetings from Idaho!

First I want to thank Ned for the case of  vodka, my favorite brand from Kazakhstan, the one that comes in an assortment of different unlabeled jars.    And thanks for the gift subscription to Soldier of Fortune magazine.    I’ve ordered one for you too, using your name and address on the postcard that said “bill me later”.

My fiancee, Hypatia de la Pink, gave me a lap dance for Christmas at the place where we first met, in the third booth from the left at her place of work.    And according to our personal little tradition, she invited me to stuff a ten dollar bill into her g-string.    I always ask her if it’s “sexual harassment” for me to do that at her workplace, but she always assures me that it’s not.

Her children, my soon-to-be-stepchildren, Josiah-Reagan (age 13), Manuel (age 15, according to Immigration) and Shanika (age 16), all look forward to Christmas Eve in “Uncle Ivan’s” bunker.     Hypatia appreciates my multicultural sensitivity, especially when it comes to her children.    She says, “Ivan, you’re the only man I know who’s ever been able to make peace between those little bastards.”    But multiculturalism isn’t so hard, if you have enough weed and vodka and ammunition.

Little Josiah-Reagan has finished his first year of missionary training in the Church of the Aryan Savior.    Now (did I tell you yet?) as I recently converted to Mormonism, I’ve been able to mediate as a neutral between Josiah-Reagan and his stepbrother Manuel, who is a devout Catholic.   Manuel says he loves “Jesus and Che”.     But he seems to think “Jesus” (he pronounces it “hay-zoos”) is the guy who tattooed his name on Manuel’s chest.    Anyway, whenever Josiah-Reagan and Manuel begin calling each other “Yankee Imperialist” and “Godless Communist Scum”, I remind Manuel that it is insensitive to call Josiah-Reagan a “yankee”, as he regularly attends KKK rallies.   And I remind Josiah-Reagan that it is insensitive to suggest that any native speaker of Spanish is a Communist, because most Hispanics have very Christian names like “Fidel”.

As for Shanika, she will soon give birth to her first son, and she plans to name him “Barack the Secondiferous”.     I’ve given her a Koran for Christmas, and she told me, “you know where you can put this”, and I knew she meant “under the tree”.

And I’ve invited some local members of my local Mormon Church over for some vodka.     Several of them have showed up already, after their businesses were ruined by “homosexual community” boycotts.    Now that they’re unemployed, they do deserve a few drinks.

So you see, I really do believe in “diversity”.   Actually, I believe in it far more than most Americans do.   Here’s a song by (Jewish) Tom Lehrer, which summarises my thoughts about the American cult of “sensitivity” in the Age of Obama:

May we stop being sensitive now?

America’s talking heads and tofu-liberals have spent the past year shouting themselves blue in the face, to make it very clear to everyone that Obama’s appeal had absolutely nothing to do with race.

Meanwhile, a google search of “obama + race” yields 41 million results.

But suppose we take the tofu-liberals at their word, and trust them when they say America has now transcended race, through the intercession of the Obamessiah.   Does this mean we can begin to enjoy classic cartoons like this one without being hauled into Room 101 to correct our thoughts?    This one is, by the way, a celebration of African-American arts and culture:

Obama’s new Secretary of Dumbasses

Obama carries on the Bush legacy of dumbing down the United States.    Here’s his new Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, who, like Bush, is a Harvard grad:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1155201977/bctid4943390001

Sounds like, “Change me can believe in!”

Of course, most Americans think elementary grammar doesn’t matter.   Like these guys:

My Kind of “Multiculturalism”

Obama goes Bollywood!

I must admit that I find much to admire in Obama.    And I have deep roots in America, including soldiers who fought on both sides of the American Civil War, I do appreciate the historical significance of his election, and it does move me emotionally.

I want to like him.   I want to admire him.   As Mulder said in the X-Files, “I WANT TO BELIEVE!”

What has always troubled me most of all about Obama, is not him, but the ludicrously serious, kitschy personality cult which has developed around him.     And even on that score, the American part of me does understand Obama’s sentimental appeal to emotions which run very deep in the American national character, including mine.

So, one big part of my American side – the emotional, sentimental part – says “I want to believe!”   But then another part of my American side remembers how George Washington refused to allow any personality cult to develop around him – he was offered the status of “King” of America, and he refused – because he wanted America to be a real republic, with the Head of State being just a civil servant whose personality was NOT intended to be the locus of any kind of personal loyalty, nor personal admiration.

And I still hope – I think with good reason – that President Obama agrees with me, and I hope he will follow George Washington’s model to refuse and repudiate any personality cults surrounding him.     But of course my optimism is very American in that way, as one wag said, “God looks after drunks and fools and the United States of America”.   And F Scott Fitzgerald called America the land of “willingness of the heart”, a phrase I love very much.

Well, in light of all the above, I think America in the Obama administration will be better off if Americans develop a sense of HUMOUR about Obama, instead of being so deadly serious and saccharine and emotional about him.   And I think a good way to start, is this wonderfully weird, politically neutral music-video: