List of Forbidden Sexual Practices With Pandas

Our incorrigible friend, blogger Nanheyangrouchuan, continues to use the forbidden phrase “Panda Licker” despite having been banned from another blog for use of that putatively “sexually offensive phrase”, under the “One-China-Blogosphere” policy.

Consequently, in the spirit of Monty Python’s “Semprini” sketch, here is a list of sexual practices with pandas which are not to be mentioned on any China blog under any circumstances, and the penalties for violations will be increased under the “Panda Hate Crime” statute if any of these phrases are used in the presence of the alternatively-gendered or those who just happen to like sex with fly-covered smelly wild beasts:

  1. Pandalingus
  2. Pandafelcher
  3. Pandarimmer
  4. Handy-Panda
  5. Fisty-Panda
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7 Responses to List of Forbidden Sexual Practices With Pandas

  1. I’ll never learn to stop harassing the panda pokers.

  2. Ned Kelly says:

    Nanhe, Beavis and Butthead’s teacher can help you with your sensitivity training with this song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5IswrbAiLU

  3. I was thinking more along the lines of this…

    :::Richard, why do these words sound so nasty?:::

  4. Ned Kelly says:

    How about “panda-over-fist”?

  5. Adriana says:

    How about pandering?

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